• Nick H.

Scientists Discover New Chemical That makes you Hotter

Report: A pharmacist working overtime hours accidentally mixed two forms of medication together and just happened to stumble into a new compound that increases the "hotness factor" of anything it touches by approximately 33%.

It has been dubbed "Hydrodioxy-Obstrantia-Tetrachloride" both because of the chemical make-up, and because the acronym is "H.O.T."

While 33% might seem like a pretty sizeable increase in "hotness factor", in reality it creates very minute changes to optimize for hotness.

A few tests were run using this new substance in The Parfait Labs, using different test subjects and applying the substance evenly via paint brushes or by dunking the objects into a bucket of H.O.T. They are listed below.

The paintbrush:

Gained a hand-crafted wood engraving, very nice.

The dunking bucket:

The Lowes logo faded away and was replaced by a Home Depot logo.

A Black plastic folder:

Gained stickers depicting fire and skulls.

Tim, from HR:

Hairstyle was changed, and new love of disc-golf was formed.

A PT Cruiser:

No change, hypothesis is that PT Cruisers can never be hot.