Scientists Discover New Chemical That makes you Hotter
Report: A pharmacist working overtime hours accidentally mixed two forms of medication together and just happened to stumble into a new compound that increases the "hotness factor" of anything it touches by approximately 33%.
It has been dubbed "Hydrodioxy-Obstrantia-Tetrachloride" both because of the chemical make-up, and because the acronym is "H.O.T."
While 33% might seem like a pretty sizeable increase in "hotness factor", in reality it creates very minute changes to optimize for hotness.
A few tests were run using this new substance in The Parfait Labs, using different test subjects and applying the substance evenly via paint brushes or by dunking the objects into a bucket of H.O.T. They are listed below.
Gained a hand-crafted wood engraving, very nice.
The dunking bucket:
The Lowes logo faded away and was replaced by a Home Depot logo.
A Black plastic folder:
Gained stickers depicting fire and skulls.
Tim, from HR:
Hairstyle was changed, and new love of disc-golf was formed.
A PT Cruiser:
No change, hypothesis is that PT Cruisers can never be hot.